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Reflexiones de un finde frustrado II.

August 12, 2018

Buenas de nuevo.

 

Hoy estamos de vuelta con la sección de #lunesfrustrados, sin embargo, hoy os traigo la sección de forma distinta, lo dividiré en tres fases. Primero, tendréis el pre partido escrito y analizado antes del partido. Después, tendréis el durante y el post partido analizado justo al terminar el partido, y finalmente, tendréis el post a largo plazo, escrito mañana tras haber consultado todo con la almohada y poder ver todas las ideas, emociones y procesos de forma mas clara.

 

Son las 13:19 del 11 de agosto del 2018, ahora mismo estoy sentado en mi asiento del bus, y junto al equipo llevamos viajando desde las 7:30 de la mañana para poder disputar hoy en Tampere el partido numero 16 de esta temporada, en la que nos enfrentamos al equipo que se impuso por 0-3 en nuestro estadio a la ida, hoy con un partido menos están por detrás nuestro con un punto menos.

Como os dije la semana pasada tras perder contra el líder seguimos segundos en la tabla, pero con solo diferencia de 1 punto respecto al quinto clasificado, entonces este partido también sigue siento de vital importancia, como los 7 encuentros que nos quedan por disputar pero este aun mas al ser rival directo peleando por el ascenso.

 

Tras la derrota de la semana pasada, la semana a sido diferente, el equipo creo que intento asimilar la derrota tan dura que sufrimos la semana pasada en los últimos minutos, sobre todo por sentirnos tan superiores en el campo pero no saber aprovechar esta superioridad. Empezamos la semana con la incorporación de un nuevo jugador, eso sumado a la incertidumbre que crea la derrota en nuestras mentes negativas, creo que había muchas preguntas rondando nuestro raciocinio durante los primeros días de la semana, y eso se convirtió en gente cabizbaja y actuando de forma diferente en los entrenamientos, olvidándonos de que lo que nos ha hecho ser un equipo competitivo es intentar controlar los partidos mediante la posesión y siendo dueños del balón implantando nosotros el ritmo. Mediante pasaba la semana hemos ido digiriendo poco a poco todos estos últimos sucesos, pero como es normal la derrota como ultimo resultado presiona, aun mas si estas peleando por el ascenso, así que hablo ahora mismo por mi, y mi consciencia ahora mismo es una pelea entre el demonio que presiona por la ultima derrota, y el ángel que me pude por favor que me centre en mi trabajo, que el foco este en las cosas que debo de hacer yo para que el equipo pueda rendir al máximo y así tendremos mas posibilidades de poder salir victoriosos de la guerra que tenemos hoy a las 17:00 de la tarde.

 

No sabría como describir el sentimiento que tengo ahora mismo en una sola palabra, siento esas "mariposas" tan necesarias para poder seguir disfrutando de la competición, eso me llena de energía, pero también siento que tengo que controlar toda esta energía  ser capaz de canalizarla de la forma mas optima para el rendimiento colectivo, este ejercicio es el mas complicado para mi cada fin de semana, el sentir que tienes que controlar algo tan anárquico y convertirlo y potenciarlo como herramienta de trabajo, la emoción.

Ya lo dijo Jorge Valdano, el futbol es un estado de animo...

 

Por esta razón, os dejo y aquí termina el análisis pre partido, voy a prepararme mentalmente para el partido, visualizar el partido para poder saber cual es mi quehacer, y después poder controlar y gestionar las emociones sin casi tiempo para pensar, casi de forma inconsciente durante el paritdo.

 

 

 

He tardado, son las 23:13 cuando me dispongo a escribir todo lo sucedido. Mientras hacíamos la ronda de ejercicios habitual para activar el cuerpo tras 8 horas de viaje en bus me sentía muy bien no sentía el cansancio o estrés que esto supone, todo iba sobre ruedas, vestirme, ejercicios de activacion-prevencion, y salimos a calentar, ya empiezo a notar un poco el viaje, el cansancio pero intento no pensar en ello en calentar a tope y mantener una activación individual y colectiva acorde al momento. Con el silbido de inicio, veo el reflejo de los entrenamientos de esta semana, nos cuesta ser capaces de recordar y reforzarnos en nuestros cimientos, en nuestras bases del sistema con el que queremos ser superiores cada fin de semana, ellos tienen mas ocasiones, atacan con peligro, y nosotros no sabemos como reaccionar, como contrarrestar.

Solo intento animar, animarme, animarnos pero antes de poder dar algún susto nos meten el primero.

Y poco después el segundo, el equipo no parece creer en si mismo, yo grito animo desesperado pero el juego sigue sin control de ninguna parte. Hasta que en el minuto 45 metemos de falta directa, una bocanada de aire fresco, esperanza, volvemos a creer. El descanso hablamos y comentamos los errores y el equipo cree que puede, de hecho puede, y así comenzamos el segundo tiempo presionando alto, forzando errores, y siendo mucho mas nosotros que la primera mitad. Hasta que en el 62 tras una gran jugada en la que un tiro sale fuera después de dar al palo, un balón largo viene hacia mi, y decido jugar, decido arriesgar, una cesión al portero que se queda corta que aprovecha el delantero para regatear a este y hacer el 3-1 el mundo se cae, me siento culpable, muy culpable, de hecho lo soy, un error en un momento clave y en un partido clave, una decisión con mucho riesgo y probablemente poco beneficio incluso saliendo bien. Mi cabeza es un mar de negatividad los primeros segundos me tiro al suelo sin poder creer que he hecho, pero ese es el instante en el que me digo que NO, que todavía queda tiempo y tengo que centrarme en mi tarea, en el partido y intentar dar el máximo hasta el final, y así ha sido, lejos de mi mejor nivel, del nivel colectivo que veníamos demostrando las ultimas jornadas, hemos terminado perdiendo 4-1, y muchas cosas que analizar.

 

 

Al acabar el partido no era capaz de escribir, necesitaba relajarme, y no podía dejar a mi cabeza escoger el camino fácil, había momentos que tenia ganas de llorar, he sentido incluso que he tirado por la borda el trabajo de toda la temporada, no tan solo el mío, sino del grupo, y eso me hacia sentir muy culpable muy en deuda con todos. Tras unas horas de relax, y de intentar gestionar toda la frustración que me ha generado el error, que es el núcleo de mi partido de hoy, ahora lo veo algo diferente, la verdad es que el error ahí esta, lo he cometido y soy consciente de ello, obviamente no estoy contento con mi rendimiento no solo en esa acción sino en todo el partido. Pero el futbol es un juego donde nos exponemos a tener que estar en continuamente en estado de toma de decisión, por lo tanto, convivimos con el error, o la falta de acierto, por eso, creo que siendo cierto que tengo que ocuparme de no volver a cometer estos errores y a dar un nivel mas alto cada partido, también creo que tengo que ser capaz y lo suficientemente responsable y maduro de aceptarlo, de convivir con el, a manifestarme ante el habito instintivo de negatividad que en mi mente habita, para poder seguir trabajando y esforzándome al máximo cada día porque si ni me escudo ante esto, seguro que me daré por vencido, desistiré... Pero quiero mas, quiero mejorar, quiero disfrutar, seguir aprendiendo, y alcanzar y superar mi mejor nivel, por eso tengo claro que desde ahora empieza una nueva semana ilusionante que necesitamos trabajar al máximo para volver a la senda de la victoria y seguir compitiendo como lo que somos, un gran equipo.

 

 

Son las 21.32 en Oulu, día de resaca, domingo frustrado, pero un buen día también para reflexionar, para volver a animarte, y volver a decidir lo mismo que todos los fines de semana, que lo hecho hecho esta, ahora toca analizar que fallo, corregir y seguir dando lo mejor de mi cada entrenamiento, cada instante para poder competir el siguiente partido de nuevo al máximo. Creo que esta capacidad de renovarte y reanimarte después de cada victoria, empate o derrota hace de cada deportista, sea del nivel que sea, sea el mejor deportista posible. El otro día pude disfrutar de un conversación con un gran coach (Gorka Acebal), en la que comentábamos que esta sociedad nos empuja a tener una visión o una idea equivocada sobre que podemos hacer cada uno para salir victoriosos, sea el objetivo que sea, tenga el tamaño que tenga. Me comento que hace poco había leído dos planteamientos que el diferenciaba muy bien en muchos deportistas, equipos… y la consecuencia de cada uno de estos planteamientos  normalmente era la opuesta a la otra.

 

1: Enfatizar en el objetivo, vivir por y para ganar, ganar siempre= bajo rendimiento, estrés, temor a perder.

 

2: Enfatizar en el trabajo optimo, hacer el mejor trabajo, esfuerzo, aquí, ahora, mejorar cada día= rendimiento, desarrollo del talento, bienestar ( consecuencia ganar).

 

Creo que el equipo a pecado un poco de centrarse y ver cerca y posible el objetivo,  y inconscientemente hemos dejado de lado lo que nos llevo a estar en esa situación de poder pelear por el ascenso, el trabajo y la mejora diaria. Por eso creo que este es mi mayor objetivo esta semana, dejar de pesar en que dependemos en el resultado y empezar a pensara que el resultado depende de nosotros, de nuestro trabajo diario y lo capaces que seamos de mejorar como colectivo día a día. Por eso dejare de centrarme en el fin de semana y en vez de partido a partido, pasare a día a día. Intentar mejorar los errores cometidos, analizarlos, buscar soluciones, y encontrarlas en cada sesión practica que tenga esta semana. 

 

-------

 

Hello,

 

We are back with the section  #frustratedmonday and today I am going to write the post in a distinctive way, dividing it on three parts. First of all, you will read the pre-match analysis. Afterwards, I will tell you how the match went, and the sensations I had just when the match had finished. At the end, the post will close with the feelings and thoughts I concluded after thinking about them all night long and they will be written one day after the match.

 

 11th of August of 2018, concretely 13:19, just now I am on my bus trip together with my teammates and coaches. Since 7.30 a.m. we have been traveling and at this moment we are on the halfway, until we arrive to Tampere. The place where we have our 16th match of this season at 17.00 pm. We will be facing the team who won us 0-3 on our own stadium some months ago, and right now they are 2 points below us, but also one less game played. 

 

As I mentioned on my last post, as a consequence of losing last week's  game against the leader, GBK, we are still second on the table, but just 1 point above the 5th place. That means this game is quite important… even though it is as crucial as  the 7 games we have still to play, all of them being finals, however, this one is a little bit more decisive because we are playing against a direct rival.

 

After the loss of last week, this week has been different, all the team tried to assimilate the hard defeat we experienced because despite the fact that we were better, we did not take advantage of it . Besides, receiving the goal with the only shot the other team had during all the match on the last minutes was extremely tough. The arrival of a new player opened the week for us, a new teammate, and this announcement added to the uncertainty the bad result of the last match created on our negative minds, we had so many doubts coming to our minds that I could feel how dejected we were, acting on a bad mood, forgetting about the reasons that made us such a competitive team, for instance, controlling the tempo of the game and having the possession of the game. This week´s trainings were insane, not as controlled as usual, but after these first trainings, we were little by little able to absorb and accept the issues. Even though as you may imagine, when you are fighting to promote, one defeat is equal to more pressure. So in my case, my mind is right now having a fight between these two opposite thoughts, the devil which is pressuring me because of the last game´s result, and the angel which is begging me not to focus on that pressure but on the effort I should and have to do everyday to improve myself as a player. Of course this affects also the team´s performance, because after all, I am aware that by having concrete thoughts and staying focus will benefit us and with it we will have more chances to continue with the great team performance and as a conclusion it will be more probable to win today's game.

 

 

 

I am not able to explain my feelings right in this moment in a specific word, I am feeling the usual nerves, which I find necessary before starting a game, this makes me feel complete, full of energy. Although, I also believe I have to be capable of controlling all this energy in order to use it in the optimum way for the collective performance. This one is the hardest exercise I have to do every week, every match, I have to try to control such an anarchical feeling and turn it into a working tool that helps me, the excitement.

 

That is the reason why the pre-match analysis ends here, because of the excitement, now it’s time to make the usual mental preparation before the match, visualizing it, to make sure I know clearly what do I have to do during the 90 minutes, and also to be able to control my feelings and sensations during this moment where I do not even have the time to think about it, meaning, in an unconscious way.

 

23.13pm, It's late I know, and until now I was not feeling like I was able to write my feelings and thoughts, in other words to open myself. While we were doing the habitual exercises to activate ourselves, after 8 hours of travelling by bus, I was feeling quite good, not as tired as I usually feel after such a long trip. The same routine as always, I put my game clothes, did the activation-prevention exercises routine, and we went out to warm up, that was the moment where I started to feel the long bus hours,the fatigue, but I tried not to think about it, to make a great warm up, and afterwards, I started to cheer up the team as always. With the starting whistle, I began to feel and see the same actions as I had saw during the trainings of the week. We were not capable of doing what we knew, on the way we have learnt, we did not even know how to keep the ball, they were having way more and better chances than us, in the meantime, we did not know how to react, we were paralyzed and I saw that we were not mentally prepared for that.

 

I just tried to cheer everybody up, even myself, we did not believe in ourselves, but as expected, before we got any chance to mark, they scored. After some minutes of their goal, they scored again, we were knocked out. I just kept yelling and cheering up my teammates, trying to sustain our hopes, but the truth is that no one, not even me had the feeling that we were able, the game was out of control, until we scored a goal on the 45 minute in a free kick. This changed everything, at that moment we had faith. We arrived to the locker room, we spoke about what was going on, about the situation we were in. We talked about the mistakes we should correct, and how we could achieve that. The feeling was totally different, we believed in ourselves and we really thought we could do it, that we could win.

 

Because of that, the second half started in a much better mood and attitude than the whole first half, pressing high and creating some nice chances to score. That happened until minute 62, after a great opportunity where the ball hit the post of their goal, they played a long ball and the ball came to me, I decided to play, and to take a risky decision, I gave a pass to the keeper on the first touch having two rivals really close to me, the pass went to the striker and he dribbled the keeper and he scored, 3-1. I felt guilty; I wanted to disappear, I felt responsible, because I was, I made a big mistake on an important match, in a deciding memento of the match, I took too much risk for so little benefit. I    just had negative thoughts around my mind, I went down, I did not have any power, I could not believe what was going on, but that was the moment where I realized that we were still in minute 63 and we had 30 minutes more to play. I needed to be focused on my work, and give 100% until the final whistle and so did I . I have to mention  I was very far from my best performance, and also from the team's performance, I could not compare it to the last matches we were having. I gave as much as I could to help and comfort the team, but the result was not great, we finished the game 4-1, a lot of mistakes were made and we needed to analyse and correct them for the next game.

 

 

 

When the match ended, I was not able to write the lines as I mentioned before, I took some time for myself, to relax, and I did not let my mind take the easy path. Because the truth is that there were moments where I was really close to start crying, I even felt that I had thrown everything  to the bin, all the effort of this season, not only mine but also my teammates, and this sensation was making me feel really guilty and also in debt with them. After some hours calming down, and trying to handle all the negative thoughts this mistake made me feel, being the nucleus of the match for me, now I can see it in a different way. 

 

The mistake is still there, it was mine and I am aware of it, obviously I am also not happy with the performance of the whole match, but this is football, a game where we are exposed to make and take decisions, with this, every decision we make has a result and the mistakes are sometimes the result, that’s why I have to be able to learn not to make this error again.

I need to be mature and responsible enough to accept and live with it. Besides, I have to go against my mind's habit that is to think in a negative way, what I have to do is  to keep working as hard as I can everyday to make me better and to be a better player in each moment. That is why now I clearly know that tomorrow a new week starts, a new gift, to keep improving, and becoming a better player and human being, I find that is the easiest way to come back here, next week, with a new victory.

 

21.32 in Oulu, Finland, hangover day, frustrated Sunday, however, it is a good day to think about yesterday, to cheer myself up, and decide again the same as every weekend. Yesterday is over, now it is time to meditate, to correct and do my best every day and it is also the perfect moment to compete in next match as good as I can. I believe the capacity to renew your mindset after every match is the key to form every athlete, the level does not matter. Some days ago, I was just speaking about this exact theme with one of my good friends and coach Gorka Acebal, we both agreed that nowadays society makes us think in a wrong way about what we can do each day to become better, to achieve our goals, taking into account every goal. He told me that a few days ago he read two different mindsets that he could easily distinguish in many athletes, teams… and the consequence of each mindset was totally the opposite.

 

1. Emphasize the goal, live to win, always win= bad performance, stress, scared to lose.

2. Emphasize the optimum work, make the best job, effort, everyday, now, in this place, becoming better everyday= good performance, talent development, wellness (result=win)

 

 

I have come to the conclusion that we had an issue with our mindsets, the aim of the season clearly being the promotion was really close for our eyes, and on an unconscious way we gave up doing what we have been doing until now. The hard work and everyday improvement of each player and the progress as a team was what made us the great together, we had been a great team and we actually are. As a result we have the biggest challenge for us this week, to change our mindset, and to just look to our development every single day instead of only looking to the game and the 3 points. We must keep trying to fix last game´s mistakes, analysing them, and finding solutions for them in every practice of this week. Then, and just then, we will have more chances to win.

 

Flowy

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